When I Look Back

storyWhen I look back, I realize how far I have come. I am at a crossroads. A place where my life intersects with the life God has planned for me. I have been sitting at this crossroads for a year now. I used to be impatient, frustrated and feeling empty because of what I felt like was a lack of progress. But the longer I “sit” here, the more I realize how far God’s grace has brought me. Now, I am thankful for this instersection at which He has placed me. A year ago I did not feel the same. This time a year ago, I was in a place I never thought I would be. But looking back, I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything. I was in a dark place. I was in deep and utter despair. The place I was in was the pit of depression. You may have heard that phraseology before. Maybe you have even been there. If you have, you are not alone.

Through a series of different circumstances I had found myself suffering from anxiety and depression, mostly all stress and self-induced. It was at that time that I realized the people who truly cared about me, and those who didn’t. My family and one close friend stuck by me the whole time, even when the church turned its head (more about how churches deal with depression in another post). But it was in those dark times that I realized the love and grace my God had for me. He brought my family closer to me than I had let them be in years. He gave me a best friend who showed me what joyful living was about. And he sent me a man to love me through my mess. He brought so many good things out of that dark time.

I am not going to tell my whole story here, because the purpose of this post is to 1.) Express how very thankful for how far the Lord has brought me and for the people He has placed in my life and 2.) To highlight the fact that I am working on a couple books to help those who may be where I was. I am working on an autobiography, as well as a poem/devotional. Alot of what I went through I penned down through poems, and I want to share that with you. I hope that you find peace and hope when you read my blog, because if there is one reason why I chose to start writing this thing, it’s to help you through a place where you may feel like no one else understands. Because I feel God had me there for a reason, and He wants me to share that experience with others.

My ultimate goal is to glorify Him, but I sure hope I can inspire others along the way. Like Emily Dickinson says in her poem, if I can help even just one person, I will have considered my struggles here in this life worth it.

Thank you for reading. I hope you will keep a look out for my new books, and I hope that you will leave a comment or write me an email if this post inspired you or if you need prayer.



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