When You Feel Like Falling Apart

There are days when you just feel like giving up. Throw in the towel, lay low and wallow over all of life’s disappointments. Yesterday was a day like this for me. And in fact, April 11th, when I originally came up with the title of this post, that too was a day like this. I have been struggling a lot lately with not wanting to just give up on the progress I’ve made. I’ve always been one to try to press on and try my hardest, but now, it just seems like a good idea to stay where I’m at and forget about the the battles won, progress and future hopes.

But then I have to think, isn’t that the easy way out? What would God say about this? I think He would agree it’s easy to lose sight sometimes of the grander picture. We are after all, only human. But then I think He would remind me of the struggles His Son went through while on this earth. He would remind me that Jesus was torn down, discouraged, made fun of and eventually beaten down in His mission in life. But even after all that, He prevailed. Now, I’m not Jesus. I’m not perfect, no matter how much I think I ought to be. But that’s not the point. The point is that there is beauty in the meantime. There is a lesson in suffering. Where would the world be if everyone gave up after a few hard days? Well, honestly we may all would be dead.

Perseverance is in the heart of man. To push through and to give life it’s all. But for some of us, who may be melancholy or over-achievers, deep thinkers, whatever you want to call us- we have a hard time pushing through failure. Ashamedly I spend more time beating myself up over failures and mistakes than I do planning for my next win and learning how to overcome my obstacles. Why? Well, I think it is because I expect myself to be perfect. I expect myself to get it right the first time. But this is a very dangerous way of thinking. Because if I truly believe after not getting it “the first time” I am doomed to fail the next time, I will never try again. Wow, it sounds really lousy when I say it out loud. But I’m just being honest. I genuinely believe there are times in all of our lives where we would rather drift mindlessly through seasons of life due to past experiences, present hardships or whatever is holding us back.

For me it is a fear of failure. But what if I never get it right? But what if I make the same mistake again? What if I get fired for incompetency? What if he leaves me because I’m a basket case? What if, what if, what if……

But, what if I truly believed He is my strength? What if I truly believe I can do this? What if I have confidence in my abilities. What if I trust that my man loves me enough to not give up on me. What if I believe failure is experience and teaches me along the path to success? A perspective change is in order here. It’s not about me.  It is about what I bring to the world, by His strength. God has a purpose for me here, and I shouldn’t want to give that up. I hope that you don’t want to give that up either.

I know I’m not alone in this feeling. So I want you to know reader, if you are feeling discouraged, if you just want to give up, don’t. We can do this together. Because as hard as it is to admit, it is not all about us. About our failures, what we can’t do…. It is about what we can do. What we bring to the world. What God has planned for us. Maybe you don’t believe in God, that He has a plan for you and He is there to help you. I respect your reservations, but I encourage you to consider it. I’m here to talk if you want to. But remember, you do have something to give to this world that nobody else can. So don’t deprive us of that. You may feel like you’re falling apart, but you’re going to be okay. You will get through it. ❤

P.S.,

This morning I was reading a devotional by Kara Tippets. It is beautiful to me to know that though Kara has passed (cancer took her earthly body, but she is alive and well in Heaven) her ministry lives on. Her friend and husband have kept her blog going and they repost words she has written to encourage others. Through her struggle with cancer, Kara knew a lot about tough times. Not just bad days because nothing was going her way, but because she knew there was no guaranteed tomorrow. Her devotional this morning really struck me to change the way I think. No I am not guaranteed to have the best day today, I’m not guaranteed I’ll never struggle with anxiety or depression again, I am not even guaranteed tomorrow. But I must not let that stop me from playing my part in this world. Form sharing the love in my heart and the passions I have. I must not let it stop me from being me. I encourage you to check out her blog, and to know that you belong here, for a reason, to share your beauty with others.

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