My Journey to Understanding Me

Well this is daunting. How to understand me? I am not sure I can even say that I know why I am writing this post. Somehow, deep in the trenches of my soul I realize that in order for me to be at peace with myself, I have to attempt this journey. This journey is what we call life. Cliched metaphor? Perhaps. But seeing life as a journey is the only way we can rise to the challenge of waking up and living each day- to its fullest. If we see life as a challenge rather than a chaotic mess, maybe we will be more willing to face each day. Maybe we will be more willing to relate with people, beyond the auspices of social media and how “perfect” we seem to have become. At least this is how I feel.

I am in the process of trying to figure out what makes me tick. You know, how they say being in a relationship with someone really shows you what makes them tick? Things like what makes them angry, what makes them happy, sad, etc. Learning someone’s passion and reasons behind it can be difficult sometimes, but learning those things about ourselves? I think that is most difficult of all. If you have ever sat down and thought to yourself, “I’m already 20-something, 30-something, 40-something (fill in the blank) and I still don’t know what my life’s passion is”, you are not alone. It can be so discouraging to wake up each day wondering when we are going to just get it. You may keep thinking, one day we will wake up and Kabloom! we will have it everything figured out, our life will take on new meaning and we will have goals lined up to knock out each day.

As nice as that would be, that just isn’t how it happens. For many of us, we feel like our lives are wasting away with nothing to show or account for it. This post is for that person. The one who feels worthless and useless, who wishes they were born someone else. I have something important to say to you: everyone is born with a purpose- that purpose is to live each day to its fullest, I mean really live, in the moment. What does that mean? I mean the best way to spend your life is not to sit wondering when your grand revelation is going to come. That is a waste of time! You are alive, living and breathing and you have the capability to change the world a little each day. Maybe it is a simple word to that mom in the grocery store with the screaming kid. Maybe it is an encouraging email to that friend who always posts depressing statuses on Facebook, or maybe it is a small act of kindness for your elderly neighbor. I know all these things seem too simple, maybe even insignificant, but let me tell you the truth. These are the things that matter in life. Reaching out and grasping humanity by the heart and saying, I care about you. This story isn’t just about me- we all have a part in it.

I used to think that the only way my life would measure successful was if I had an intelligent job doing something for the government, making my parents proud and making heads turn. Well guess what, two degrees, 6 jobs and many years later I have realized that God may have different plans for your life. He sure did for mine. God is teaching me, as I try to understand myself- my emotions, my thoughts, my dreams- that every little bit I learn about myself can be applied to someone around me. What if I just lived my life intentionally each day. I could pick out at least one person to strike up a conversation with, one task that would make the load lighter on a friend and one prayer to ask God to reveal Himself to me. In an age where busyness defines your worth, take a moment to be still. Take a moment to be in awe of this beautiful universe in which we live. And think to yourself, I may not have a grand scheme or a mountain of wealth, but I have life and I can love with it.

Sorry if this all seems like rambling, but this is my start to a new journey to understand myself. To worry less about who likes me or who doesn’t and to focus on how I can, in some small way, make my corner of the earth a little more beautiful. How do you suppose you can make life around you more beautiful? I would love to hear any stories you have about something small (or big!) that has happened to you recently. How are you connecting with others? What kind of lessons is life teaching you right now? Share your thoughts in a comment below or shoot me an email. I can’t wait to hear from you!

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